Reconciliation

Just as water extinguishes a fire, so love wipes away sin.
John of God

Opening Prayer

Father, the world we live in tells us that You have no place in our lives.
We are told that power, wealth and pleasure are far more powerful than the anything You can offer.
Father, we combat these false truths daily for we know that true joy, happiness and peace come from Your merciful Heart.
Grant us the grace of perseverance to constantly do Your will.
Grant us the grace of perseverance that we may be strong against these temptations and always proclaim Your goodness in our actions, thoughts and deeds.

We seek the intercession of our beloved Mother Mary who is a model of faith to us.  Mother, pray that we may receive the strength to be constant in faith, hope and love.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

Introduction

We are faced with challenges on a daily basis – not only from cultural pressures that seem to go against our faith, but from within as well. This is nothing new. Even St. Paul writes how he is baffled by his own actions. He does the very thing he hates! (Romans 7:15) Going back even further to our first parents, Adam and Eve, we see that we are tempted to love the created world as an end in itself. The result is brokenness and confusion. It is difficult sometimes to discern right from wrong when there are so many mixed messages.

We are not perfect. We might strive for it, but we will stumble along the way. John Paul II reminded us during WYD 2002 that, “We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father's love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son.”

With the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we are encouraged to reflect on our lives and see where we may have come up short and where we are called to grow. When we are reconciled, we are reconciled to our world, to our community, and to God.

Questions

Our faith is challenged on a daily basis by messages in the social and cultural environment. This constant onslaught makes it difficult to live a Christian life – especially if there is some so-called ‘natural’ instinct in us that prompts us that what we are taught in church is wrong instead of the other way around!

What are some of the negative messages you are faced with?
What are some of the ways these negative messages are revealed?
How to do they go against what Jesus has taught us?
Is it hard to live a Christian life?
Why do you think you do something you know is wrong?
What guide(s) do you use to discern right from wrong?

Bring out as many of the ways negative messages are conveyed to us as possible: e.g. music, advertising, TV, movies, cult of celebrity, how success is often defined in a workplace, profit over people, etc.

The idea is to show that although we cannot excuse our behaviour because of all these pressures, it is really difficult to live a Christian life and we need to be conscious of what we are struggling with and not give up.

St. John Vianney states, “The greatest of all evils is not to be tempted, because there are then grounds for believing that the devil looks upon us as his property.”

How do you see the Sacrament of Reconciliation?
What excuses are made not to celebrate the sacrament?
Why should we celebrate it?

Too often people approach the sacrament in fear instead of love for God. Bring out in the discussion how the sacrament is an opportunity for healing. In fact, it is known as one of the sacraments of healing.

How is the Sacrament of Reconciliation one of healing?

CCC 1465: When he [the priest] celebrates the sacrament of Penance, the priest is fulfilling the ministry of the Good Shepherd who seeks the lost sheep, of the Good Samaritan who binds up wounds, of the Father who awaits the prodigal son and welcomes him on his return, and of the just and impartial judge whose judgment is both just and merciful. The priest is the sign and the instrument of God's merciful love for the sinner.

It is also an opportunity to cleanse our spiritual senses so that we really see, hear and speak truth instead of lies.

Understanding

Three Models for an Examination of Conscience:

1)  A more traditional approach

In relation to God and my faith:

• Have I given to anyone or anything else the love, honour and worship that belongs to God alone? Do I really love God above all things?
• Do I go to Mass humbly and hungering to meet the Lord in the Eucharist?
• Do I listen to God in prayer each day?
• Am I hesitant or ashamed to witness my faith in God in my daily life?
• Do I try to deepen my faith, even when my life is confusing?
• Do I ask God to help me be more faithful, hopeful and loving?
• Do I turn to God only when I am in need?

In relation to my family:

• Do I try to communicate with my parents and understand their point of view?
• Do I thank them for what they do for me?
• Do I have any main fault that disrupts the family (e.g. jealousy, laziness, rudeness, etc.)?
• Do I apologize and forgive quickly?
• Am I generous and kind with the other members of the family?

In relation to my neighbour:

• Am I kind to my friends and treat them with care?
• Do I help people in need? Do I take care of the poor, sick and defenseless?
• Have I been the cause of another’s committing sin?
• Do I respect my girlfriend/boyfriend and avoid sexual situations?
• Do I care for and respect the environment in which I live?
• Do I bear grudges or contemplate revenge?
• Am I responsible at school, at work, and in the groups to which I belong?

In relation to myself:

• Do I truly live as a Christian and give a good example to others?
• Do I really believe that I am made in the image and likeness of God and therefore am one of God’s wondrous creations?
• Am I too focused on myself?
• Do I respect my body by avoiding alcohol and drugs, by eating healthy foods and by exercising?

2) The Ten Commandments

1.  Putting God First
      I am the Lord your God; you shall not have other gods before me.
2.  Respect for God
      You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
3.  Respect for the Lord’s Day
      Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.
4.  Respect for Parents and ancestors
      Honour your father and mother.
5.  Respect for Human Life
      You shall not kill.
6. & 9.  Respect for Marriage
      You shall not commit adultery.
      You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife.
7. & 10.  Respect for Private Property
      You shall not steal.
      You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbour.
8  Respect for Truth
      You shall not bear false witness.

3) The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12)

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Split the group into 3 (or 6). Give each group one of the above examinations of conscience. Ask them to either create a poster or some kind of symbol that they present on the essence of the examination (you may wish to have magazine and newspaper clippings on hand to help with this) or act out some kind of skit based on the examen and in the context of reconciliation. They may wish to focus on one aspect within the examen, and that is okay, they should be able to put it in the context of the rest when they explain it.

As an alternate exercise use the stories found in CCC 1465 above (Good Shepherd, Good Samaritan, Prodigal Son) instead of the examinations of conscience.

After all the presentations, ask them what kind of a picture emerges of what is sin? How does it compare with what their preconceived notion of sin is? The examinations ultimately speak about broken relationships - with the world, with each other, and with God.

Try to steer the conversation so that you can discuss how the examinations provide an approach to life, of how to live. Reconciliation isn’t just about confessing to breaking rules, it is about becoming aware of how we lead our life sometimes gives pain and contributes to the brokenness.

God’s love is far greater than our shortcomings. The parables of the lost sheep (Luke 15:1-7) and the prodigal son and his brother (Luke 15:11-32) show God’s joy when we reconcile and return to the Lord. God searches for us and even runs out to meet us.

If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.
Mahatma Gandhi

Acknowledging this is the beginning of healing. Reconciliation helps us to take responsibility for our actions. It is not a judgment but a healing. It is a time for joy as well as sorrow.

Reflection

That man prefers something – the world, himself – to God, this is the only real sin, and in it all sins become natural, inevitable. This sin destroys the true life of man. It deviates life’s course from its only meaning and direction. And in Christ this sin is forgiven, not in the sense that God has ‘forgotten’ it and pays no attention to it, but because he has loved him and found in him the only true object of love and life. And God has accepted man and – in Christ – reconciled him with himself. Repentance is thus the return of our love, of our life, to God, and this return is possible in Christ because he reveals to us the true Life and makes us aware of our exile and condemnation. To believe in Christ is to repent – to change radically the very ‘mind’ of our life, to see it as sin and death. And to believe in him is to accept the joyful revelation that in him forgiveness and reconciliation have been given.
Fr. Alexander Schmemann,
For the Life of the World

Discouragement is an enemy of your perseverance. If you don’t fight against discouragement you will become pessimistic first, and lukewarm afterwards. Be an optimist. (988)
Now! Return to your noble life now. Don’t be a fool: ‘now’ is not too soon… nor too late. (254)
You interior life has to just that: to begin … and to begin again. (292)
St. Josemaria Escriva,
The Way

When you need to forgive:

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. … And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Matthew 5:43-48; 6:12;

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
Luke 23:34

When you need to be forgiven:

Psalm 51 (see below)

Isaiah, Chapter 53

Who has believed what we have heard?
   And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
   and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,  
   nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by others;
   a man of suffering and acquainted with infirmity;
and as one from whom others hide their faces
   he was despised, and we held him of no account.

Surely he has borne our infirmities
   and carried our diseases;
yet we accounted him stricken,
   struck down by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions,
   crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the punishment that made us whole,
   and by his bruises we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
   we have all turned to our own way,
and the Lord has laid on him
   the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
   yet he did not open his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
   and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
   so he did not open his mouth.
By a perversion of justice he was taken away.
   Who could have imagined his future?
For he was cut off from the land of the living,
   stricken for the transgression of my people.
They made his grave with the wicked
   and his tomb with the rich,
although he had done no violence,
   and there was no deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him with pain.
When you make his life an offering for sin,
   he shall see his offspring, and shall prolong his days;
through him the will of the Lord shall prosper.
   Out of his anguish he shall see light;
he shall find satisfaction through his knowledge.
   The righteous one, my servant, shall make many righteous,
   and he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will allot him a portion with the great,
   and he shall divide the spoil with the strong;
because he poured out himself to death,
   and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
   and made intercession for the transgressors.

And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.’
Matthew 16:18-19

Take one of the above passages, whichever one speaks to you the most, and reflect on what it means to you. What is God trying to show you?

Ask yourself:   Do I struggle to do good?
                        Do I challenge myself to live a Christian, holy, life?
                        When I find it difficult, what do I do?

Note your answers down in your journal.

Alternate Reflection

There is an excellent guided meditation in Guided Meditations for Youth on Sacramental Life in the series called A Quiet Place Apart published by St. Mary’s Press.

Closing Prayer

Pray together Psalm 51 then try to arrange with your pastor or associate to be present so that the group is able to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You will find resources, if you need them, in the prayer section.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you alone, have I sinned,
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are justified in your sentence
and blameless when you pass judgment.
Indeed, I was born guilty,
a sinner when my mother conceived me.

You desire truth in the inward being;
therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodshed, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your deliverance.

O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you have no delight in sacrifice;
if I were to give a burnt-offering, you would not be pleased.
The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem,
then you will delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt-offerings and whole burnt-offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.